I really love this class. I love it because everything I learn makes me think about how blessed I am to have grown up in my family. It also makes me want to be a better person, and I'm grateful for anything I experience that motivates me to improve myself from the inside out. Now, on to the good stuff!
Faith and Prayer:
The biggest thing I learned from this section is the concept of "enlightened hedonism" - doing the right things and following gospel principles, but only to get the blessings that make our lives easier. For example, paying our tithing because we know that if we do the windows of heaven will pour blessings upon us, instead of paying our tithing with the intent of blessing other members of the church with a nearby temple, the opportunity to serve a mission, or food for their families. I am definitely guilty of "enlightened hedonism." I want to pay my tithing and follow the gospel with Christ always in mind. I want to stop obeying the commandments to get blessings. I want to obey the commandments because I love Heavenly Father.
We also talked about the importance of praying in a circle as a family. I've liked this idea for a really long time, because a circle is so representative of our eternal family and our covenant. I feel so unified with my family and with Heavenly Father when we kneel in a circle for prayer. In class we talked about how younger children especially feel a sense of security and family identity when they kneel in a circle.
Love
Love is both a feeling and a behavior.
When we bear others' burdens, our capacity to love and sympathize grows.
"The Atonement working in our lives will produce in us the love and tenderness we need." ~ Henry B. Eyring
We must love our family and our neighbors, in more than just word. "One cannot ask God to help a neighbor in distress without feeling motivated to do something toward helping that neighbor."
Work
In my family, work and chores were part of life. This chapter was an interesting one to read because it evoked a lot of memories and some...shall we say...strong childhood feelings. I'll mostly quote from my textbook, because it's just so good :)
"What does such ordinary, family-centered work have to do with salvation? The answer is so obvious in common experience that it has become obscure: family work links people. It does so by providing endless opportunities to recognize and fill the needs of others."
"Ironically, the things commonly disliked about family work offer the greatest possibilities for nurturing close relationships:
It is mindless - but this leaves our minds free to focus on one another while we labor.
It is menial - yet because of this, even the smallest child may contribute.
It is repetitive - but repetitive chores allow families to gather everyday in rituals of love and cooperation.
It is demeaning, we have to clean up after other people - yet, in so doing, we observe (others') vulnerabilities and weaknesses in a way that forces us to admit that life is possible...only by the grace of God. We are reminded that when we are fed, we could be hungry; when we are clean, we could be dirty; family work is thus humbling work, helping us to acknowledge our unavoidable interdependence; encouraging (even requiring) us to sacrifice "self" for the good of the whole in the pattern of our Savior."
Today, children rarely work at all. Many people have maids; when children do work, it is mostly work that benefits themselves, such as cleaning their room. Family identity and unity is built through working together on projects that benefit the entire family.
Today a myth exists that little children don't want to work. False! Little kids love to help. Involve them in what you are doing, be it sweeping the floor, fixing a sink, or baking cookies. Let them feel useful, important, and capable.
* Respect your children's agency and do not coerce them into jobs because they will often rebel. Invite and firmly encourage. If your children resist, do not use guilt or manipulation as a motivation. You can try setting understandable boundaries so things will still get done; for example, not allowing your teenager to drive the family car to hang out with friends until their chores are complete.
Balance between work and play is a huge part of creating a healthy family life. Play with your children (more on that next week!). Play has been described as "a child's work." Play is a vital part of development and health. Play play play! That goes for you too, parents :)
Have a wonderful week!
In thinking about the family Greg and I look to have someday, we have decided we want our family to work - and to work together doing those "menial" chores. Thank you for giving a more eloquent way to describe the importance of work in the family, and blessing that work holds for those who do it.
ReplyDeleteI love you!~